we have officially lost it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
