i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
