Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
