I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
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