so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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