I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
