I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Help. Why am I so naked?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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