On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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