yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
