Me too!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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