trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
