he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
