Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
