you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He has the fingertips of a God
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