I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
