oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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