The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
