No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
