Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
