He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
