Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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