oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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