I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
