i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
