she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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