it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
