I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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