a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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