dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
