And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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