From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
