no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
