I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
