i permit you to call me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
