Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
