I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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