Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
