What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
