Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
