i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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