I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
