This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
