I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
