Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
