how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize