I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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