That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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