Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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