Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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