I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
