She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
